Place Where Dreams Come True
by CrystalNight1
Summary: Julia's always been with Helen and Randal up until now. This is the first time the two of us have been together like this in over five years. I wonder where it is we're going… /Two-Shot/
1. Summer Time

**A/N: Just a head up: Clare died giving birth to Julia. Yeah. ****Just a two-shot I just really wanted to write and...yeah. It's based off a show called _Clannad_... so the idea off of this is the creator's of _Clannad_. The title is an instrumental/classical song used on the show, by the way. **

**Please review and tell me what you thought! It would make my day :)**

**DISCLAIMER****: I don't own _Degrassi_.**

I just live like I used to live. I wake up, go to work, eat, and sleep… Simply remembering what my body knows to do.

_That's how I lived._

I continued working as if I were pushing myself. Forgetting about everything, and continuing work without looking back.

"Mr. Goldsworthy, are you done yet?" My boss would ask me every night before closing time, my sullen eyes glued to my paperwork and filing.

"Not yet. I will be done soon," I'd respond leisurely.

"I'm grateful that you're doing so many things for us," he would tell me, "but if you work that hard, you'll fall apart." He would look at me from the other side of the large desk with a worried façade. "You haven't taken any time off, either, have you?"

"It's fine. I like doing this, anyway."

He would smile at me and fix his glasses, proceeding to scratch the back of his neck. "Just that if you don't take a break every once in a while, the higher-ups will get angry," his voice came out shaky.

After work is over, the time I rest is filled with agony. I'd waste my money to waste time. I'd go to a casino, and then go to a bar until unthinkable hours of the day. If I look at reality, I'd probably fall apart.

I hate this city.

But if I left this city, I'd have no idea what to do. I lived, not thinking about anything.

After I spent my money in worthless things, I would arrive at my apartment, which could pass by as a pig sty. The mail-box was over flowing with notices and mail. The kitchen was a trash. My room filled with crap.

I didn't want think of anything. I wanted to forget everything. I thought that everything was wrong. That I met her… That we went out, got married… And that we had a kid.

…That all of it was wrong.

* * *

><p>The door bell awoke me. The fan was the only thing cooling down my apartment in the summer air. I turned on my bed and flung my arm over my forehead, sitting up slowly. I groaned lowly from the migraine I had from drinking so much the night before and stood up from my bed and maneuvered my way to the front door.<p>

As I flung the door open, there stood Helen Edwards with a smile on her face. "Helen?" I asked out incredulously.

"Good morning Eli," she greeted me, my eyebrows pinning together. "I'm sorry, were you still asleep?"

"No… Not really," I muttered, looking down at her feet and then down the hallway of my floor. "You came alone?"

"Of course."

I let out a sigh and gave her a small smile. "Ah, I see. Could you give me a minute? The place is a mess, so I'll clean up," I nodded at her and went into my apartment, closing the door behind me.

After I finished picking up, I opened a window to let the summer air sweep in and we sat around the table in the small living room. I poured myself a beer and served her a glass of water. We kept to ourselves for a moment, until she decided to break the tension between mother and son in law.

"The day is very warm, isn't it?" She said, and I bit the inside of my cheek.

"Yeah…"

She leaned over the table and gave a small smile that I managed to catch. "You should go out for a bit and refresh yourself," she suggested.

"Yes, although Adam tells me that a lot. But for me to be out in this heat all by myself…" I trailed off, looking outside.

"Then how about you accompany to buy some things?" She seemed to be acting rather energetic and happy towards me, and I was very surprised to say the least.

* * *

><p>"Why so suddenly, though?" I asked my mother in law as we walked down the street.<p>

"Nothing, really. Once in a while I want to visit my son in law," she put it simply and I had to give her credit. That was a good reason.

"But, you could do something else than to come visit me," I said, and she faced me with furrowed brows.

"Of course not!" She accused, as we stopped at an intersection. "I haven't seen you in over six months – and Randal wanted to know if you were doing fine," she explained. "Do you really mind that?"

"Not at all. I've always been relying on you two, huh?" I said, ashamed at my own weakness, as we crossed the street. I stopped suddenly, looking at the far right and catching a glimpse of the train station. "Things have changed a lot," I pointed out. They had built a large statue next to the station that I didn't know about.

I guess that's what happens when you stop going around town.

"You don't come to the station often?" Helen asked surprised.

I faced her ten and shrugged. "Not over here, no," I told her, and began to walk again.

We kept walking in silence until we reached a small café and we were seated. Once in check and we already knew our orders, Helen was brought a soft drink and I was brought a large strawberry ice cream. I was swallowing my first scoop of ice cream when Helen gave me a curious look and I frowned.

"Are you taking a long break this summer?"

My frown became more pronounced and I put the spoon down. "My company keeps telling me too, but I find it ridiculous."

She moved her drink to the side and put her elbows on the table and rested her chin on her clasped hands. "Randal and I our heading over to my parents, would you like to join us?"

My eyebrows raised in shock that she was being so compassionate towards me after such a long time, and I gulped loudly. "Really? To your parents? Sounds exciting," I joked, and she let out a chuckle.

"It would be nice. But what if we _all _go."

When she said this, my eyes shot down to my lap and I bit my inner cheek, understanding who she was referring to. "Everyone?" I muttered.

"Yes, all of us," she repeated.

A little girl ran passed our table and both Helen and I glanced at her as she put her hand up to call her mother, "Mom, hurry up, let's get juice to drink!" The little girl said enthusiastically, and ran off, her mother trailing behind.

I narrowed my eyes and looked outside through the large window next to our seats. I could feel Helen's worried face and she smiled. "Let's go, Randal has wanted to have a drink with you," she tried to encourage me, but I wouldn't budge.

"But, I –"

"Let's all go, alright?"

"I'll give it some thought."

* * *

><p>After accompanying Helen home, I reached home. I opened the door and closed it behind me once inside and the phone rang. I sauntered towards the small table and picked up the phone, walking to turn on all the lights.<p>

"_It's Helen. Have you decided on going?_"

I frowned and sighed. "Oh, uh, I still haven't thought about it," I lied. I had thought about it ever since she gave me the offer. I just couldn't say yes.

"_Alright then. I'll call you back later_."

With that, she hung up and I put the phone down and let out a light hearted laugh. "Why is she so pushy?" I had began to walk to the bathroom when the phone rang again and I picked up. "Hello?"

"_Have you thought it over?_"

At this point I was overwhelmed and annoyed and I completely gave in to my mother in law. "I give up. You win."

"_Then the plan's set?"_

I nodded my head at this. "Yeah… I'll take the latter part of next week to match Sunday, and then I'll have four days," I explained to her, and I could feel her excitement over the phone. At this point I knew she was planning something with Randal. "I'll put in a request."

"_I'm so glad!_"

To be honest, I was reluctant. But it'd feel like I'd be betraying Helen if I refused. Beside, Helen was always pushy with just about everything.

* * *

><p>Thursday came along and soon I was walking towards my in laws' house. I opened the door with my left hand, my right hand holding the small bag I brought along. Once the door was opened, I yelled, "Hello?" No one responded and my eyebrows pinned together. "Helen? Randal!" I called out, but once again, I received no answer.<p>

I walked inside and made my way towards the living room. Once more; _no one_. I was about to search upstairs when a few papers on the table in the living room caught my attention. I put my bag down and walk towards it, grabbing a small letter that was on the table.

"To Eli…" I read.

_Something came up, so I left with Randal in a hurry. I'll leave the rest to you._

I put the paper down and looked blankly at the wall in front of me. I glanced at the table and saw two train tickets and I groaned. "You've got to be kidding me."

I turned around when I heard footsteps and I walked out to the hall. I walked down the narrow hall and made my way upstairs. I stopped when I noticed Clare's room and the lighting inside the house became suddenly dim as I narrowed my eyes. "Clare…" I whispered out inaudibly.

I heard the footsteps once more and I looked down the stairs and caught a glimpse of short, dark hair, and walked to the first floor of the house. I was in the living room again when I saw the familiar shadow run towards the guest bathroom and I felt myself relax.

"Julia!" I called out, and soon enough appeared a small six year old girl. The resemblance to her mother was terrifying and the lighting in the house became bright as the Sun shone through the windows.

I sighed as my daughter and I finally saw each other after over a year. Our sight from each other didn't waver and we stared intently at one another until Julia decided to run off. I closed my eyes at her childish ways and called out to her. "Come on, now. You don't have to be so nervous. Come on out." She appeared in front of me again and blinked down at her. "Helen and Randal left, didn't they? What'll we do?"

"Grandma…"

"Uh, I said Helen wasn't around."

"Gramps…"

"The old man isn't around either," I told her again, and she bit her lower lip nervously. I looked away quickly and took in a sharp breath. "Did they leave without telling you anything?"

She nodded her head in agreement.

"What about you?"

"I want to go on a trip," she told me, and I crossed my arms in front of my chest.

"We can't," I tried to reason with her, and I saw her eyes water in disappointment. "Randal and Helen aren't here either. Or do you want to go alone?"

She pursed her lips and huffed. "I want to go with gramps and grandma," she blurted out stubbornly.

"I said we can't."

* * *

><p>I was sitting on the floor next to the small table in the living room. My elbow was plopped on top of the wooden table and I had a cigar between my fingers, the ashtray next to my arm. Put the cigar between my lips and took a drag. I exhaled the fumes and put the cigar on the ashtray as I felt my daughter's green eyes on me.<p>

_What's with all this…?_ I thought, looking out to the backyard through the large windows of the living room. I looked at my left and caught Julia's eyes and she backed away a bit – as if scared.

Five years ago, I had entrusted Julia to Helen and Randal. Even when she began to go to kindergarten and had special events, I worked and ignored it all. Helen brought Julia to my place once in a while but, I never even got a good look at her face.

I dumped the cigar in the ashtray and looked at Julia. "Julia!" I called out to her, and she hid behind a wall. She came out of her hiding place slowly, and carefully looked at me. "Are you planning on hiding? I can see you. Come on over, don't stand over there."

She walked over towards the small table and clutched the end of her dress tightly, her knuckles whitening. "Have a seat," I told her, and she just stood there, her eyes on me like a confused animal. "Oh, whatever." I looked away from her to look outside again. "Let's see… I'm pretty sure Randal and Helen will be back tonight. So we'll wait for now. Okay?"

She nodded her head and moved her body from side to side in a negated way. "Trip…"

"We'll go when Helen and Randal come back," I reached into the pocket of my shirt and took out another cigarette. "Play by yourself for today."

She nodded enthusiastically. "Okay."

She ran off quickly and I put the cigar between my lips. "She seems like a boy," I mused. I was about to light the cigar when I heard a crashing sound coming from the stairs. I put the cigar down on the table and got up and walked towards the stairs to find Julia, who had tripped and fallen. "Julia!" I said worriedly, walking to her and picking her up from the floor, sitting her on the first step of the staircase. "Are you okay? Don't run that fast," I told her as she sniffled. I patted her head and touched her arm. "Are you hurt? You seem to be okay. Be careful."

I looked up at the ceiling as she stared at the floor. My gaze followed hers and saw a broken toy turtle with wheels. She stood up and walked to her toy and picked up the pieces and I trailed behind her, crouching next to her. "Were you playing with this?" She hummed as a response and I could see her eyes were watery. "And it broke the moment you fell?"

She shrugged. "Poor Mr. Turtle…"

I grabbed the pieces from her small palms and inspected the toy. "I can fix this if we have glue," I could see her turning to me with a bright smile and her sniffles stopped as she looked at me intently. "Wait a moment, I'll put it together."

We walked to the living room and I put the toy on the small table. Then, I walked towards a cabinet in the kitchen and took out a small container of glue. The cap was a small brush that I could use to fix the small toy. I sauntered towards the living room and sat next to Julia and added the glue on the broken pieces and put the items together.

Julia stared in wonder as I showed her the fixed toy. "There's still a bit of crack here…but it doesn't seem to stand out much." She stood up from her sitting position and took the toy away from my hand. "Don't move it until it's dry. Or the glue will stick to the wheels," I instructed her, and she ran off to play again. "Did she understand that?" I sighed out, and shrugged, laying down on the floor to take a nap. "Whatever."

* * *

><p>Julia woke me up in a start. She was shoving my shoulder to get my attention. I had managed to sleep for an hour max and I looked down at the girl holding the wheeled turtle. I sat up on the floor and raised my eyebrows at her in a vexed way.<p>

"What's the matter?"

"It won't move anymore," she said in disappointment.

I put my hand out to her and she placed the toy on my palm. I turned it around and tried to move the wheels, which, as I had thought, where glued. "Hey…I told you not to move it until it was dry." She bit her lower lip then and looked down at her lap and I sighed. "Oh, boy. Now the wheels won't move anymore."

She looked up at me and gave me a worried look. "You can't fix it?"

I looked down at the toy in my hand and narrowed my eyes. "No, it's useless. Forget about it," I told her, and she nodded, as if telling me she understood she did something wrong. "What will you do? Throw it out?"

She gasped and took the toy away from my grasp and held it close to her chest, nodding her head.

"I'm joking…" I trailed off, and look at the clock on the wall. Julia kept looking at me and I began to feel impatient and I stared down at her. "Hm, is there something else?"

"Grandma…" she whispered, and I looked at her.

"Is she back?" I looked over her shoulder and began to stand up.

"She still hasn't," I sat down at this and looked at her.

"Oh," My gaze fell on the clock on the wall once more and I noticed it was about to be three in the afternoon. "I'm hungry…" I acknowledged, and stood up and walked to the kitchen, my daughter trailing behind me. I opened the fridge and we peeked inside. The fridge was completely empty besides a bunch of beers and bread. I looked down at Julia who looked up at me. "I guess I'll make something. Do you want anything? If not I'll make something I like."

* * *

><p>I was about to enter the supermarket when I heard an older woman call out to me. I turned to face her and noticed it was Mrs. Bhandari – Clare's best friend's mother.<p>

"It's been such a long time, Eli," She said, and I nodded at her.

"Oh, hello," I told her with a smile and then pinned my brows together when she smiled down at my feet.

"Isn't that great, Julia? You're shopping with your father?"

I gasped slightly and saw my daughter hiding behind my leg. "Eh, when did you –"

"You've been living away from each other, haven't you?" She said in compassion and I nodded in response. "It's not unreasonable. It'd be quite troublesome to take care of a child all alone,"

She pondered and then gasped in realization. "Ah…but you two do meet once in a while, don't you?"

I blinked at her and it took me a while to answer. "Huh, I guess so."

She smiled brightly down at Julia, then, who gazed up at Mrs. Bhandari. "Not meeting each other really is lonely, isn't it? Since she's your daughter, right?"

"I – I guess so," I stuttered out like an idiot.

"Well then, Julia, bye!" She waved at us and walked off home.

We both stood, looking at the woman walk off dumbfounded and I caught my daughter's eye and we looked at each other.

* * *

><p>I put her plate in front of her and she sniffed at the smell of pepper. I decided to make fried rice. It was the easiest meal I could possibly think of doing and Clare didn't really teach me much of cooking when we lived together. I walked to the other side of the table and sat on the chair, my plate in front of me. Julia was staring at the plate in front of her in wonder and I frowned.<p>

"What's wrong? You can eat by yourself, can't you?"

She didn't respond. She just clasped her hands together and chanted, "Thank you for the meal." She grabbed her small fork and began to push the rice on it. Once she managed to get the rice on the fork, she brought it up to her mouth and took a bite and I chuckled at her and began to eat myself. Julia frowned all of a sudden and I stopped eating. "It's bitter…"

"Bitter?" I repeated, taking another bite of the rice. "Oh, that's the pepper. Sorry, but without it, it can't be called fried rice," I pointed out. "Just eat it like that."

"I don't want it," she said stubbornly.

Her attitude was exactly like her mother's and I couldn't help but give her a small smile. I then furrowed my brows at her, "Hey, now, didn't Helen ever tell you not to be picky about your food?"

"I wanna eat grandma's rice," she muttered, playing with the rice between her fingers.

"Then don't eat," I deadpanned, taking another bite of the rice as she kept playing. I kept eating until I succumbed to her stubbornness. "Is it okay if I take out the pepper?"

"Yeah…"

"But it'd be bad if I take out the pepper," I was persistent for her to eat it but she was being extremely stubborn.

"Rice," she chirped.

"Rice? Plain rice?"

"Yeah."

"That'd be easier for me."

* * *

><p>I placed the plate in front of her and she was chewing on the fork in hunger. "Here," I said, and her face brighten up as I sat across from her once more.<p>

_Having fried rice as a side dish to regular rice is weird for a menu…_ I thought, and she pushed the plate with fried rice towards me and I looked at her incredulously.

"There!" she yelled at me, grabbing her plain rice and taking a bite.

"Hey! What are you doing?"

"I'll just eat this."

"You just threw away the fried rice… Doesn't it seem like you're teasing me?" I said in a hurtful tone. She got off her chair and ran to the kitchen and I looked after her as she came back with ketchup. She opened the cap and began to pour it on top of it. "Ketchup?" I asked myself.

She left the bottle on the table and clasped her hands once more, chanting, "Thank you for the meal."

She began to eat her rice and I just sighed and ate my own plate.

* * *

><p>They never arrived yesterday night so I stayed over. I woke up and walked over to the backyard and stretched, the sun shining brightly on me. I yawned as Julia walked out of the house wearing a navy blue dress and brown shoes.<p>

"You woke up?" I asked her and she bit her lower lip.

"I gotta pee."

"Go on ahead."

She ran off after nodding at me. I went to the garage and took out a water hose and began to water all the flowers around the porch of the house. Julia walked towards me then and stood with her head held high.

"I did it on my own."

"Of course," I said, and she lowered her shoulders.

* * *

><p>We both sat on the front porch with blank faces. A young man with his two children passed by the house and we just stared as the children spoke excitedly.<p>

"We should do a lot of swimming," the dad told their children.

The young boy looked up at his dad with a large smile, asking, "Dad, are you going to do rowing?"

I looked over at Julia who was in deep thought. After a moment passed, she turned to me. "Hey…"

"What?"

"I gotta go potty."

"Go on ahead," I sighed out, and she got up and ran off to the bathroom. I sat in silence and heard as the toilet was flushed. After a moment, I heard her footsteps behind me and she stood behind my body.

"I did it on my own," she said proudly.

"You don't have to brag about it every time. Even I can do it myself," I spat out. I didn't mean to sound harsh but I haven't been around her for such a long time and it was very irritating for me to be taking care of such a young kid.

Her eyes softened at me and I looked down at my feet, cursing at myself for sound like an asshole. I took out the train tickets from my pocket and I looked at them intently. "Do you want to go on a trip?"

"I do!"

I looked up at her; her face was bright and determined, just like her mother's. "Then, how about we go?"

She nodded at me. "Okay."

"Are you sure with someone like me? Helen and Randal aren't here, either."

"They won't come back," she whispered.

"I guess…they won't be coming back."

"Yeah."

"Then, let's get going."

She looked down at me, her eyes shining in pure happiness. "Okay!"

* * *

><p>Julia was putting on her shoes at the front door and I turned to look down at her, my bag slouched over my shoulder. Julia jumped up from the floor and looked up at me as I asked her a series of questions.<p>

"Didn't forget anything, did you?" I asked her as I saw her large, pink book bag hanging from her shoulders on her back.

"No."

"All the doors locked?"

"Yeah."

"Then, we're off!" I told her, raising my hand up bawled in a fast as a motion of accomplishment.

"Yeah!" She said, her fist going up in the air as well.

Julia's always been with Helen and Randal up until now. This is the first time the two of us have been together like this in over five years. I wonder where it is we're going…


	2. The Ends of The Earth

**A/N: I'm sorry this took so long! I didn't really had something to drive me to finish it until now. So here is the last chapter. Once more, forgive me for taking so long! **

**DISCLAIMER: ****I don't own _Degrassi_ or the storyline of _Clannad._**

* * *

><p>We were on the train with no words mustered between us. Her eyes were glued to the scenery outside the large window of the transportation and my eyes were glued to the seat in front of me, my hand supporting my head as my elbow rested on the armrest.<p>

A boy, not much younger than my own daughter, was jumping obnoxiously and tugging on his mother's sleeve to grab her attention and I had to grit my teeth to not make a scene in front of so many people.

"Hey, Mommy, come on, look!" The boy tried, the young woman trying to calm him down in a low voice. "I said hey!"

At the moment, Julia tugged on my sleeve, and I looked down at her, who was biting her thumb. "…Hey," she began, as if nervous.

"Hmm?" She kept looking intently at me and I raised my eyebrows. "What is it?"

"Play with me," she put simply.

I shifted on my seat, putting both my hands on my lap. "What do you do with Helen?"

"Read books."

"Do you have any with you?" She gave me a nod of negation and I sighed, biting the inside of my cheek. "What about with the old man?"

"Baseball."

I blinked at her several times, trying to grasp the idea. "Baseball?" I blurted out incredulously.

"Yeah. Look." She got up and walked to the aisle next to me and got into a batter position. "Babe Ruth."

"Pretending?" I asked myself, shaking my head at her.

"Not interesting?"

"Not at all," I deadpanned, her expression softening as she made her way back to her seat.

"Too bad," I heard her whisper as she sat on the chair that looked extremely large compared to her size.

Resting my elbow on the armrest again and plopping my chin on my palm, I closed my eyes. _What has the old man been teaching her…?_

"Mommy! Mommy!" The boy on the other side of the aisle shouted, tapping his mother's shoulder.

"Come on. Sit down now," Said the woman, patting her child's arm.

"Mommy! _Mommy_!"

"Silence. Don't you feel embarrassed?"

"Mommy! Mo –"

"_Shut up_!" I barked, glowering at the little boy in front of me, everyone becoming silent around us. "Mind the people around you!"

The little kid hugged his mom in a scared matter and the woman looked at me apologetically. "I'm sorry…" She whispered, holding her son in her arms as I closed my eyes once more.

"…Damn," I muttered, opening my right eye to see an empty seat next to me. "Julia?" I began. I got up, and walked down the narrow aisle towards the miniature bathrooms. "Where'd she go?" I wondered, a bathroom door opening to reveal the one I was looking for. "Geez…"

I walked to her standing figure hiding behind a corner and I scratched my head. "Hey now, if you want to go to the bathroom, go on ahead." She kept quiet and shrugged, making me furrow my eyebrows. "What's wrong?" I asked, and she looked up at me with stain red eyes. "…Where you crying?"

She shook her head at me and looked down at her feet.

"Don't lie."

"I was told not to cry," She mumbled, fumbling with her knee length, blue dress she wore.

"Huh? Who told you?"

"Grandma."

"Seriously? She's surprisingly strict," I said, mostly at myself.

"But she told me," she continued, clasping her hands together and looking up at me like a lost puppy. "She told me their where places to cry."

"Like where?" I asked, quite curious as to what my mother-in-law has been teaching her.

She kept quiet for many moments after until she finally answered. "…the bathroom."

I turned to my side, scratching my head and shoving my hand in pocket right after. "I guess if you cry there no one can see you. Isn't it okay to cry whenever the time is right?" I asked her, looking back down at her. "You can cry right here if you want," I sighed out, turning away from her.

"To want to cry but to not be able to…After all, there is a lot of that when you grow up."

* * *

><p>We had arrived at a train station where we were switching trains. Walking next to each other without talking was quite troublesome and I remembered she hadn't brought anything to play with. Stopping in front of a small shop, she bumped into me and I smiled down at her.<p>

"Hey."

"Eh?"

"You don't have a toy, do you?"

She nodded her head at me and we stepped into the store and she began to browse the limited toy section it had.

"Pick one. I'll buy it," I told her, looking around boringly as she looked at the toys in front of her, her eyes with a sparkle in them I couldn't decipher.

"Yeah," she nodded her head, biting her lower lip.

I looked at my watch and noticed the time. Looking around once more, I walked to grab a small robot toy and went to show it to her. "Hey," I called out, making her turn around to meet me. "How about something like this?"

She nodded without hesitation. "Okay."

* * *

><p>We were on our last train of the day. Thankfully, this one was empty and Julia wasn't bugging me to play with her as she was playing with her robot, moving the arms from side to side. I glanced at he curiously, wondering why she hadn't rejected the toy.<p>

Maybe she felt bad saying no? If so, Helen brought her up to be exceptional…

"Hey, don't force yourself."

She looked at me, leaving the toy alone for a moment shake her head at me.

"Well, a toy meant for a girl would've been better, right?"

"No," she contradicted, "this is fine. I like this."

I bit my lower lip and stared at her look at the toy as if it were the only thing important to her in life. "You even have weird taste," I mumbled, and I made her look at me once more.

"Hm?"

"It's nothing, go and have fun with that."

She kept on playing and my eyes fluttered close as I drifted off to sleep.

_Will this be an enjoyable summer, I wonder._

…_Yeah right, with just her and I._

* * *

><p>She was stirring next to me and when I opened my eyes, she looked at me from the door with a tired expression. Julia and I had arrived at our destination and we had gotten our hotel, which could actually be categorized under a motel, and we unpacked and headed to sleep, all the time not speaking to each other.<p>

Julia blinked from the threshold sleepily. "Bathroom."

"Eh?"

"I gotta go potty," she responded.

I got under the covers once more. "It's dark, so be careful," I instructed.

She began to open the door and when she did; I let out a groan and went out with her to the bathroom. She crawled down the stairs until she reached the bottom and headed to the bathroom as I stared out through a window to the small garden behind the motel with fireflies.

"I did it on my own," she said proudly, and I nodded at her as I head off upstairs.

She stopped on her tracks, looking outside the window I was staring outside through as well, and she gasped, pointing out.

"What is it?"

"What are those?"

"They're fireflies. You know what they are, right?"

She nodded her head and stepped closer. "First time I see one."

"…Though quite late in my case," I whispered, stepping closer as well.

I caught Julia's eye when she stared up at me and then back down at the floor. If she wanted to tell me something she could, but I guess those five years apart really did a number on her. I wouldn't be surprised if that's why she's always insecure to ask me things.

"What is it?" I wondered.

"Nothing."

There she goes, lying again. "Is there something on my face?" I joked.

She moved her body in negation and hummed a no.

"Then don't look at others like that," I said in a hurt tone. We stared at each other and she rapidly looked away. "What is it? You have something you want to say, right?"

She slouched her shoulders as a response and I put my left hand on my hip.

"Oh. Maybe you're still scared of me?" I kneeled down in front of her to be able to look at her directly in the eye. "Come on. I won't yell anymore, okay?"

She bit her lip, as if thinking of what she wanted to tell me. "Well…" she began, staring at me. "Tell me about Mommy."

I gasped and stood up, looking out of the window. "Ask Helen."

"I did, but she won't tell me anything," she said in an innocent voice that made my heart crack.

I scoffed, narrowing my eyes at the close by scenery of flowers. "And you ask me?" We kept quiet after wards and I turned on my heel and began to walk away. "Ask your grandmother. I have nothing to say."

* * *

><p>"Julia," I called out to her as she walked out of the motel. "Don't fall asleep."<p>

She nodded in agreement and rubbed her eyes with her left hand, her right hand holding the toy I bought her yesterday. "Hm."

I kneeled in front of her and fixed the hat she was wearing on her head to position. "Wear your hat right," I grounded her. "We have a lot of places to go to today." I looked far ahead to the horizon and squinted, getting up in front of my daughter. "Let's go."

"Okay."

* * *

><p>We began to walk, the road endless. It seemed as if we could continue walking forever and never stop. At least that's what I wanted to do.<p>

We both stopped at the same time when we came across a sunflower meadow, and I saw the excitement etched into Julia's features as we both gaped at the scenery and I gasped, "Amazing…" I looked down and then told Julia. "Do you want a better view?"

She turned to me rather quickly and blurted out enthusiastically. "I do!"

I walked around her and stood behind her figure. "Okay, spread your legs." She did, cautiously, and I kneeled between her legs and put her over my shoulders. She let out a shriek and held on to my hair. "You're quite light," I remarked, looking at the view in front of me. "Look!"

She let out a gasp in awe and her legs began to swing back and forth on my shoulders. "How is it?" I asked her.

"Wow! It's great!" She began to giggle on my shoulders and I then kneeled down and let her get off of me.

I told her she could go off and play as I took a seat under a tree and looked at her running around with her new toy. "Don't go off too far okay?" I yelled at her.

_I guess it was good to come out here after all._

I smiled at myself when she stopped running and waved at me with a smile. I waved back, a smile on my lips, and she continued playing. Sighing, I closed my eyes, letting the memories of Clare flood my mind and a peaceful dream to take over me.

* * *

><p>"Hmm?" I yawned as Julia woke me up with tearful eyes. "What's wrong?" I asked, furrowing my eyebrows.<p>

"I lost it…" She whispered. "The robot."

* * *

><p>We were searching around the prairie where she was playing around with the toy and I stood up from my crouching position ad put my hands on my back and stretched, looking at Julia.<p>

"You only played around here, right?" She nodded. "That's strange," I mustered, looking around me. "She didn't cover much ground." I then turned to look at my daughter, who was moving the flowers aside and ruining the greenery. "Julia, just give up. I'll buy you the same one on the way back," I suggested.

She narrowed her eyes at me and kept searching. "I want that one," she protested.

"We can't find it, so there's nothing we can do," I retorted, sighing at her persistence.

She didn't respond, so I closed my eyes and walked back to sit under the tree. Once sitting, I closed my eyes to rest when a nostalgic feeling washed over me and my eyes snapped open, a gasp escaping passed my lips. I gazed over to my right and then to my left and stood up, pointing down the rocky path we took earlier.

"Julia!" I called out to her, and she craned her neck to stare at me. "I'm going to take a walk that way. Don't move, okay?"

"Okay!"

And with that I began to walk. I wasn't sure where I was heading, but I had a premonition and it felt strangely odd. I began to pass by some houses, the sun setting already. _What is this?_ I asked my self. _I know this place?_

Biting my lip, I stopped at the top of a small hill when I saw an elderly woman sitting on a wooden bench, staring off into the horizon. The elderly woman stood up, a soft breeze passing by as she did so. A smile adorned her face and she walked towards me.

"You're Elijah Goldsworthy, am I correct?"

I let out a breath I didn't know I had and I blinked at her. "Ah…yeah. You know me?" I asked quite rudely at her.

"Yes. I do." She bowed her head at me in a soft way and the looked at me once more. "My name is Hazel Goldsworthy. "

"Goldsworthy?" I breathed out.

"I'm your father's mother." I gasped at this and she turned to look at the setting sun and continued. "I received a call from Helen Edwards. She and her husband told me you'd come if I waited."

"So it was her plan all along," I muttered under my breath, my hands forming into fists and my teeth gritting together slightly annoyed at this fact.

"You've grown a lot," The woman said, looking at me.

I narrowed my eyes at her and she turned away. "We've met before?"

She bobbed her head in affirmation. "Right here when you were little. It was after your mother, Cece, passed away."

I bit my tongue and looked at the horizon and admired the birds flying in front of me and sighed. How I wished I were a bird to fly away form everything holding me to this world.

"Is Bullfrog still atoning for his sin?" She asked me this and I gave her a blank look.

I bit my lip. "No," I managed out. "He should be released from that hell hole and be living at home by now."

"I'm sure you went through an emotional rollercoaster." Her body turned completely so she could face me and my gaze stayed put at the scene in front of me.

"Not really."

"He was not always that foolish," she sighed. "Both Bullfrog and Cece were students so many people were against their marriage. Nevertheless, Bullfrog quit school and began to live in a small apartment with her."

I stared at her hard and long and noticed the parallels between my father and I. And it sucked that I had become just like him.

"Regardless," she continued, "it seemed he was having a great life. To live protecting the one he loved. That's all it took to make him happy."

I chewed the inside of my cheek, my eyes burning with agony as images of my marriage with Clare flooded my thought. I loved her. I love her. I'll never stop. And this feeling inside of me was horrible.

"Soon, Cece was pregnant with you. And you were born, treasured by everyone. But the happy life didn't last long." She turned to face the other side of the hill and I turned away from her as well. "Cece passed away in an accident. To him, it was an event too sad to recover from. But he couldn't let himself fall to the depths of despair."

By this point I felt as if she were telling me to get my self out of my imaginary world and to live life like normal again, but the thought was already too hard to process. How would I manage? How would I live with one kid without Clare? How would I live?

I turned to face her in a swift move and she turned around at the same time as me, and gave me a hopeful look. "Eli… He still had _you _to care for. He said he would raise you to be a man. That day you walked away holding hands. Do you remember that?" She asked as I turned around to look at the path I had taken moments ago to reach here.

"The days after that were the days he worked the hardest in his life. He was fired from many jobs ad moved from place to place," she explained in a dulcet, cracking tone. "Even then, he worked with you in his care. He would but you toys with the little money he had and gave you snacks. He sacrificed all his luck and chances for success."

I looked down at my feet, tears brimming my eyes as I remembered the moments with my father. How I'd play with one toy every day. How we'd walk under the falling snow to our new home. How he'd give me packs and packs of sweets to make me happy.

A tear rolled down my cheek and I scoffed as I continued to listen at my Grandmother. "At times, he was strict or violent, but it was all to raise you well. However, for your father, it was a very hard life. To relieve the pain from work, he indulged in alcohol. I heard there were times he was drunk and out of control."

I gulped loudly at this comment, remembering the time he swung his bottle at me, injuring my arm. I cursed at this and bit my tongue harshly and she continued speaking, my shoulders shuddering lightly at the anger and regret boiling in the pit of my stomach.

"Even so, he chose to live with you. And by the time you had grown and could live by your own way, Bullfrog had lost everything. Work, faith, luck, friends. _Everything_. I heard you're in a situation similar to his right now. It is a painful situation. But that's why I wanted to tell you this story," she told me, and with that I turned to face her.

"He often bought me snacks," I acknowledged. "We'd go on walks holding hands." I chuckled at my own foolishness. "Why did I forget about all of this?"

"Elijah, do you think Bullfrog was a bad father?"

"No," I finally admitted. "I'm an even worse man than him. I'm standing on the same place Dad stood that day. Yet I'm weak… I'm pathetic."

The woman let out a light laugh at my remark. "So is he. He's weak, pathetic, and clumsy. Still, he did his best for you. I want to hold him as my pride and joy. He had many failures as a person, but I believe he was a fine father."

I nodded my head. "So do I. I think so, too." I gave her a smile and she grabbed my hands in hers and let out a soft cry.

"Thank you very much," She cried out. "I feel relieved." Her right hand reached up and cupped my face and I blinked down at her. "Eli, he tried too hard. It's about time he should rest. Could you tell him to come home?"

"Of course."

* * *

><p>"Julia!" I called out to her, and she stood up in the middle of the prairie. "Did you find it?"<p>

She only shook her head and kneeled down to keep searching. My grandmother let out a small gasp. "Is she your…?"

"Yeah. That's Julia," I responded, and my legs moved my body toward my daughter. Stopping in front of her, my shadow covered her tiny body, and she stood up and stared at me. "Have you been searching this whole time?"

She bit her lip and grabbed the hem of her long, navy blue dress. "Yeah."

"I see," I muttered, looking away, a memory from long ago flashing in my train of thoughts. I walked closer to her and knelt down, making her cock her head to the side. "You know… we might not be able to find the robot. So I'll but you a new one, okay?"

I saw her jaw drop a bit and she looked down at her shoes. "But… that was the only one," she argued.

"Aren't there more at the store?" I told her, and she shook her body.

"Because you picked it and bought it for me," she cried, clutching her dress in her balled fists.

"Huh?" I breathed out, blinking at her.

"It's the first thing… daddy bought for me."

She said this in such a way that made my heart pound loudly in my ears. She was looking at me in such a pure and innocent way and I felt disgusted of myself all of a sudden. My eyes were wide and I let out a small gasp. Then, it was my turn to look down at the ground.

"Julia?" I felt her nod next to me, so I continued. "Were you lonely?"

"Hm…" She nodded her head furiously and I could hear her nod.

"Did you have fun on this trip?"

"I did."

"I see," I mumbled, biting my lower lip and looking at her. "Julia… would it be alright for me to stay with you? I've been a bad dad for so long…." I trailed off, and she only looked at me. "I'll be working hard from now on, so would that be okay?"

She gave a nod.

"Really?" I said incredulously.

"I want to," she told me enthusiastically and I smiled at her but then frowned at her facial features contorting with emotions. "But today I lost something really important. Daddy…?"

"Yeah?"

"Um… well… Is it all right? I don't need to hold it in anymore, right?" I raised my eyebrows at her as her voice cracked along with my heart. "Helen told me that… places I can cry are the bathroom and in Daddy's arm," she cried out, and I nodded at her, tears brimming my eyes.

"Yeah…" I whispered. "Of course."

I stared at her, and she stepped closer to me, her small arms wrapping themselves around my neck. She was shaking and I could hear her sob into my shoulder. She was silent for a second and then she let free.

A sob escaped her lips and she cried out in agony, and my own tears escaped my sockets. I clutched her with my arms, and rested my face in the crook of her neck and she cried to her heart's content.

"I'm sorry…" I began to whisper. "I'm so, so sorry. I'm sorry."

* * *

><p>We were on the train going home once more, Julia was staring out the large window as the sun set behind the horizon. My eyes soften at her and my lips parted to speak out to her.<p>

"Hey, Julia?"

She craned her neck my way with a smile.

"Do you want to hear about Mommy?" She nodded and I patted the seat next to me. "Come over here," I said, and she pushed herself on the floor of the train and jumped on the seat next to mine and stared at me with an anticipated look.

"Let's see," I sighed out, my shoulders slouching. "Mommy was someone very emotional sometimes. When we first met you could really read her like a book. She would always put up a fight with Daddy, but a childish one. And guess what she'd call me? Annoying. That was her habit most of the time. The other was that she would close her eyes and think of things she wanted whole-heartedly. That would cheer her up with courage. Helen and Randal were going through some rough times back then so she had to rely on me most of the time. She would always come to me and she would talk nonstop. That's the kind of person Mommy was," I breathed out, looking down at Julia.

"And…" I continued, but failed. The tears were caught in me eyes and my breath hitched as I scratched the side of my head and my lips quivered. "Ah, um… And Mommy, she…"

And the tears came crashing down on me as I whispered her name over and over again. Her curly hair was still in my memory. Her blue eyes. Her vanilla scent. He curves, her warmth, her softness. It was all engraved in my memory and it would never leave me.

_Isn't that right, Clare?_

Julia jarred me out of my trance by pulling on the sleeve of my shirt and she was crying, too. I smiled down at her and wiped away her tears with the back of my hand. "And why are you crying?" I said, wiping away my own tears. "All right, I'll continue," I said, with a large smile. "Mommy wanted to become a writer at the time…"

_Clare, I found it._

I got a hold of Julia's hand with mine and gave her a soft smile, and she giggled up at me, her eyes sparkling with delight.

_I've finally found it. Something only I can protect. Something that can't be replaced that I have to protect. _

_It's… right here._

**Fin.**


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